To invite and to be invited are amongst the most radically transformative aspects of a culture. 

I was bullied ruthlessly. I was the new girl 8 times in my school years and each school came with its own bully that rattled me. That tried to shake the very essence of who I was.

That tried to strip me of my voice, of my convictions, my values.

Ive never forgotten fourth grade, I remember her name and her words. The pain, the conflict between knowing who I wanted to be and having it all stripped away from me.She claimed all friends as her own forcing me on an island.  She was ruthless. I became scared to befriend.

Ive never forgotten 6th grade. In art class every project I worked on was either ripped, scribbled on, or stomped on with painted shoe prints. The creativity I desired to express was taken away from me. I became afraid to create.

In eighth grade I had my first boyfriend. Rumors and bullying took a turn here. I was chewed up, spit out and it got physical. This was the year I remember, I started to hang my head low. I stopped fighting for what I believed. I became afraid to be anything but alone. I became afraid to try. 

I know you know this too. I know you do. I know that in your relationships, your family, your workplace, your church- somewhere you have experienced a spear fight to the very core of YOU. A spear fight from someone whose apparent mission was to take your voice away. Your seat at the table away. 

Like me, maybe the fight lead you to compromise. Like me, maybe that fight forced you to harden or change. Like me, maybe that fight propelled you into the sad-est, true-est, real-est, form of solitude. The one that says… There’s no place for me here. Or here. Or here. For years, I couldn’t get close, for years, I felt like I was too much, for years I felt that no one could relate. 

Until I received an invitation and said yes. That invitation, that seat, that meal, that one and the invitations after radically, radically changed my life. Continue to change my life. 

You see, whether its the enemy in your head saying “look at you, you cant show up looking like that’ or finances screaming at you that you’re not worthy. Maybe, its the fear that putting yourself out there will get your hurt again. Let me share with you from someone who has sat at both sides of hospitality. 

The table is where fractionated pieces of my life came back together. Where words of encouragement unlocked dreams. Where friends and family spoke truth to lies. Where I was invited into laughter, where I was invited into the beauty that is peoples lives as they too entered mine. Where everything changed. 

You today, who may be the one dodging tables like a minefield. You today who may not be inviting anyone over because you are afraid of rejection. Let me tell you this today you need that table, they need that invitation. Those two tools are the most transformationa;, radical tools to change a life, a community. 

To you, may be the first time it doesn’t work. Try it again. And again. Don’t stop extending. Come out of hiding. Heres to steps back into community, the point where everything can change.